January 15: Groups Guide

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The online groups guide is designed as a teaching series companion to foster discussion, study, and prayer, especially in a group setting.

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Love

Teaching Text: Ephesians 4:17-32

So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. Having lost all sensitivity,they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, and they are full of greed.

That, however, is not the way of life you learned when you heard about Christ and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work,doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.


Themes

Consider these themes and ask your group what else they see in the passage:

  • The mechanics of abundant life


Presence 

Watch or listen to the sermon. Then take a moment of silence and think about these questions:

  • Ask God to open your heart and mind to understand Ephesians anew as we start this season. 

  • Thank Him for the blessings He has given you already, even those you might be unaware of.

  • Ephesians is a letter full of the idea of union with God and others. 

    • “Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” 

  • Spend a moment in contemplation about the family God has called us to be a part of. 

  • Thank God for how he loves you. Consider the family of God you get to love.


Formation 

Thoughts and notes you can use for discussion:

  • Jesus famously said that the thief (the enemy of our souls) has come to kill, steal, and destroy, but Jesus says he has come to give life and give life to the full. To give abundant life.

  • The apostle Paul writing from prison here is saying to this city church in Ephesus.

  • There is a way of living that is separate from the life of God 

    - our thinking gets laced with pointlessness

    - our hearts get hardened by selfishness 

    - we even lose the sensitivity to enjoy what we we say we enjoy 

    - our gauges for right and wrong get distorted 

    - we become numb 

  • And what will it look like?

    • It will be fundamentally shaped by loving God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, and loving your neighbor as yourself

  • The way Christ is bringing us into life and life abundantly is dealing with all the ways we  fail to love and know we are loved by God and the ways we fail to love others.

  • Christ has died to deal with all the ways we fail this life of love - forgiveness

  • Christ has risen and given us his Spirit to invite us into this life of God - a life in God - union

  • Paul is showing us: 

    • The miracle and the miraculous process

      • Salvation in Christ is the miracle and the miraculous process

    • It is the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus and it is the filling the Spirit and our lives in community 

  • We grow by breakthrough and habits

  • Yes, we are made one with God in the Gospel in a moment of faith 

    • But then we must grow into our new identity

  • The Apostle is giving us a pattern of change - which I want to look at for most of the rest of our time, put off your old life —> put on this new life in Christ

  • Pauls says, put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires

    • What does it mean that our desires can deceive us?

    • That there are some desires which present in my mind and body and will as valid and with pursuing but when I follow them they lead me into something other than what they promised.

    • They are false internal road signs that do not lead where they say 

    • Or they lead somewhere with much worse results than they desires themselves indicted?

    • I would like to know how much I am capable of self-deception and this passage is not good news for that.

    • It really begins to blow apart this pervasive myth of our time that all you need is within you

    • Like almost every Disney movie, big epic story, pseudo spiritual self-help pathway says we have all that we need within us

    • Just follow you heart or your gut and you will be fine

  • But this seems to be saying all together different

  • There are certain desires connected to a life apart from God that will lie to you, will deceive you, will promise one thing and deliver another 

  • Not every thought and feeling and desire pointing you in a direction is worth following and figuring out which is which is very important for life to the full

  • We need a trustworthy pattern of change

  • Do I think myself into new actions or do I act myself into new thoughts?

  • From my experience and from the teaching of New Testament I think it is both

  • And if you are stuck in one you can start from the other.

    • If you are trapped in patterns of thoughts you may need to begin with some new habits of action 

    • If you are trapped in patterns of actions you may need to begin with how you are thinking and pray for a renewal of your mind 

    • I think Paul is saying trust who God says you are and live that reality

    • And when it comes to destructive patterns you will need replacement over removal

  • Paul speaks about these broken habits. 

    • Falsehood ——> Speak Truthfully ——> We are members of one another 

    • Controlled by Your Anger ——-Reconcile in the day ——> Unresolved anger gives a foothold 

    • Stealing ——-> Work at something useful ——-> Useful work opens opportunity for generosity 

    • Unwholesome Talk ——-> Build Others Up———> Words can have a huge impact 

    • All types of Malice ———> Be Compassionate ———> We have life by forgiveness 

    • Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander

  • Where do you need to put off your old life today and put on the new?

    • God will get very specific with you if you are open to that.

    • And remember this is for the sake of abundant life

  • Where do you know our desires have been deceitful?

  • What habits are doing harm to you and your relationships?

  • What thoughts can you identify that are false and should be replaced?

  • Things like:

    • My value is connected to what I own or what others thinks about me or what I have accomplished

    • If I can only have this promotion, relationship, apartment, salary, achievement - I will experience abundant life

  • Confess these thoughts and habits


Love 

Read these notes and discuss the questions below:

  • (Vs29) Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

  • Consider your pattern of talk. Your words do harm or build others up. 

  • What patterns of joking or talking is keeping you from talk that is wholesome and helpful for building others up. 

  • Confess where your speech has been harmful to those around you. 

  • Consider the blessing you can speak this week for others to benefit from. 

    • Write a card or text of affirmation. 

    • Stop when you notice you are talking negatively about others who are not present. 

  • (Vs 32) Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.